Tuesday, November 24, 2009

lessons on unlearning

The untrusting of you is the untrusting of me
and the untrusting of oneself is the most difficult journey to undertake...

Life keeps changing, its incredible what you can get used to, people get used to living without things they had been born with - eyes, hands, feet, fingers, kidneys, parents, siblings, feelings.But i think the real nightmare begins when you try to get used to living wthout what/who you had chosen to love which you had made for yourself the most important of all things, which is a part of that in which all universe coagulates- the image of who you are.

I just finished reading Middlesex recently, it disturbed me in ways very few things have. Not because i am a hermaphrodite,not because i already know that killing is an easy way for societies to keep themselves pure and harmonious, not because i had to leave my country behind to settle in a country far colder than mine,not because i havent been able to get used to cars, not because my naked body has ever put on display in a medical journal or a kinky sex parlour, not because places are not just places sometimes, people not just people and lovers not just lovers.

But because i have to learn to unlove an image of myself, because its just time.